And love, love will be my strongest weapon
I do believe that I am not alone
-Michael Stipe
Our lives are marked with milestones, and a year is no different. It’s somewhat bewildering to realize that we are closer to 2026 than we are to 2024. Milestones are how we measure time and are often associated with achievements or other significant life moments. I started writing this on the fifth of July at a Starbucks while on a work trip. Yesterday was our country’s independence day and the holiday is a milestone that we often use to gauge how fast the year and how fast the summer is going. This is going to be either cynical or unpatriotic or accurate depending on your political leaning, but I feel that the holiday is losing its meaning with each passing year. There’s not much happening these days that I feel is worth celebrating.
Which is an abrupt change from how I was feeling exactly one week ago when I was at my city’s annual Pride celebration. I’ve been going to the Minneapolis annual Pride celebration for the last ten years or so and it’s always been a strange combination of tension and joy and sadness and encouragement and community. It’s an odd experience being at an event where there are giant tents and booths where different corporations are giving away Pride flags and wanting you to apply for a credit card or whatnot. Not to be cynical here but I feel it’s hypocritical for a corporation to be at Pride when during the rest of the year they are donating money to politicians and political parties that support anti-LGBTQ+ laws and legislation. But I digress.
The strangeness also comes from remembering that the first Pride was a riot, as the saying goes.
Literally.
The strangeness also comes from remembering that the first Pride was a riot, as the saying goes.
If you’re not familiar with Stonewall or if you don’t know who Marsha Johnson was, I encourage you to do some reading. I think it’s important that we learn and honor our history and those who fought for what we have today. We need to remember how much progress we’ve made (even if it doesn’t feel like it). We have a long way to go, and the work we do today may not benefit us in our lifetimes, but will benefit future generations. It’s not unlike planting a tree knowing you will not live to rest in its shade.
History is a funny thing as we often think history is something that happened A Long Time Ago. Stonewall happened in 1969. People who were there are still alive today. The queer community is ALWAYS living through history, though. The transgender community has been a very popular target for some political and religious factions and for what reason? Baseless fears and accusations. Time gives us the ability to draw parallels with different events and it’s not a stretch to compare this discrimination and demonization to how some cultures view left-handed people. It’s like, they were born that way?? Leave left-handers alone. We were also born this way. Leave the transgender community alone. Leave everyone alone.
Although it’s easy (and understandable) to think of Pride as the month when companies rebrand their social media with rainbows and “love is love” hashtags. I mean, this Starbucks still has their Pride month poster pinned to their little community bulletin board. But I hope that people remember that Pride has always been about resilience and community. It’s a message that we’re here, we’ve always been here, and we always will be. I am reminded of that the entire time I am at Pride.
I started a social/support group twelve years ago called The MN T-Girls. We are a, um, a social and support group for femme-identifying non-binary folks in Minnesota. Each month we meet for different activities, whether it’s visiting a museum or meeting for coffee or going to see a play. We exist to help others like us find others like us and to do things in the community as a group. Each year at Pride we set up our tent and decorate it with transgender pride flags and a lot of pink party decorations. We are there so others like us can find us. Again, part of Pride is about community and about growing the community.
It is also a reminder, and an affirmation, that we are part of a bigger world. There are more of us than you can possibly imagine.
In the weeks building up to Pride I start to feel anxious. Sometimes I wonder if this is the last Pride our city will be “allowed” to have. It’s not unthinkable that these events could be banned. This anxiety is also rooted in knowing that those who hate us are feeling more emboldened about committing violence against us. I mean, a Pride celebration is a pretty big target. If someone wanted to terrorize us, these celebrations would be an opportunity to do so. Thankfully, and miraculously, in the years I’ve been going to Pride I haven’t experienced anything like that. I wonder how our community would respond if something were to happen.
What I mean is would we not show up out of an abundance of caution? I suppose that would be the goal of anyone who tries to commit an act of violence, to push us back into the closet. Would we show up anyway? Stronger and more united than ever? After all, Pride is also about resistance. Even though this writing started off with a cynical slant, I really feel that we, and our allies, would unite in even greater numbers.
Most of the time I am at Pride I’m, along with other members of the MN T-Girls, at our booth. We talk to others like ourselves, we talk to families, we talk to therapists who are looking for resources for their patients, and we see our community before us. We see a lot of people doing a lot of “firsts”. We see queer couples who might be holding hands in public for the first time ever. We see others who might be wearing a dress outside of their home for their time ever. We talk to moms who are saying “my kid is trans” for the first time ever. We talk to people who tell us “I’m seventy years old and I am done ignoring what my heart wants to”. We see tears of joy and of sorrow and of relief. We see tears of frustration and of relief and of anger.
We made it another year, we are celebrating another Pride, we celebrate one more milestone. We are here now, and we will fight to be here tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. Fighting isn’t necessarily throwing a brick, fighting is also quietly living your life and not letting anyone stop you from being who you are and how you want to live. Fighting doesn’t require you to be always strong or forever optimistic. We all have bad days but as long as we keep ourselves and others alive, we are fighting. We are resisting those who would prefer we go away.
Love, Hannah
