We are all humans. That much we should be able to agree on.
And then the classification begins.

Humans are burdened with labels and these labels can create divisions and prejudice and sexism and racism and classism...We did this to ourselves, of course. We continue to do this to ourselves.

Of course, labels (for lack of a better word), can help one find others like themselves. We thought we were alone, in how we felt, how we thought, in what we wanted, and what we wore (or wanted to wear). When this happens enough, a community is born. And we need communities. Humans are, for the most part, social creatures. We need each other, we depend on each other, we cooperate with each other. We enrich other lives, as they enrich our own lives.

And yes, this is all a little naive and optimistic but I think we need a little of that right now.

Of course, just because we find others like ourselves it doesn't mean we will get along or will always agree with each other. Humans are complex and nuanced and, well, we are all individuals. Our community is no exception. For the purpose of this article, said community includes those who identify as crossdressers, non-binary, transgender, or in a similar way. I feel it's important that it's clear who I am referring to as how we identify is an example of how deep divisions can exist within a marginalized group of people, such as ourselves.

What I mean is that there is no clear consensus as to who a crossdresser is. Some consider a crossdresser as someone who identifies as male but just happens to enjoy wearing "girl clothes". There's no aspect of identity that conflicts with the gender marker on their birth certificate. Just a guy who wears panties or anything else. But I know many people who associate their gender identity, their name, and their pronouns with how they dress... and they also call themselves a crossdresser.

Another example is 'The T Word'. Some of us are terrified of this word. Some of us gatekeep this word. There's a lot of emotions that surface when we discuss exactly what 'transgender' means. Again, another term we can't agree on. Some feel that only those who have, or are in the process of transitioning, are allowed to identify as transgender. This is kind of why the term is frightening to some people. Some of us aren't sure what all of *this* means, or who they are, or where their journey will take them. The idea of transitioning is overwhelming and the potential of someone changing EVERYTHING is very scary. Of course, transitioning isn't the right decision for everyone, and not everyone who enjoys panties is going to take that path in their journey.

I identify as transgender because, well, it fits. I like this word because, based on how I define it, it's very inclusive. For example, anyone who presents themselves (a boy wearing a dress, eyeliner, whatever) in a way that conflicts with how society says someone "should" present themselves (boys should wear blue, boys should wear pants...), then the word is likely appropriate. The word is, in a way, an umbrella term. I feel that all of us in our community is transgender... but there are many other, and more specific ways that someone can also identify in addition to being transgender. So, I am transgender, but to put a finer point on it, I am bi-gender, one of the many terms that are under The T Word umbrella.

But this is all very subjective and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. That's not the point. We all have different perspectives and experiences and opinions but we should not ever tell anyone that how they identify is wrong. There's no Gender Police. At least not yet.

One of the more heated topics within our community (at least within the comments section for certain topics on my website) is the subject of "boy panties".

What I mean is that there are feminine clothes that are designed for those who were assigned male at birth. The Breast Form Store has beautiful corsets and other items on their website under sections labeled "Crossdresser Clothing & Lingerie" and "Crossdresser Makeup". There are other designers that also sell products that are designed for people that have similar body shapes and body parts (blouses for people who have broad shoulders, panties with a slightly wider gusset, and so on...) like my own. I am very happy that I can find clothes that fit this stupid, rectangular body of mine.

I am very happy that I can find clothes that fit this stupid, rectangular body of mine.

But not everyone agrees. Some of us feel that wearing panties that were designed for, and marketed to men kind of misses the point. Others feel that these items are for those who dress as a fetish (I'm not kink shaming, promise). There are those of us who feel that since they identify as a woman, then they should do their shopping at stores that sell clothes for women.

I do my shopping EVERYWHERE. I have just as many panties from Xdress as I do from Victoria's Secret. My go-to bra is from the Breast Form Store because, like the best dresses, it has POCKETS. Pocket bras are amazing and they keep my forms where I need them to be. I don't care WHO the bra was designed for, it's the perfect bra for what I need from a bra.

Again, I am not trying to change any minds or anyone's opinion, but my point is that we are all part of a community and we are not going to agree on everything, but it there's anything that we all WANT is to live our lives the way that we wish, how we please, and what feels right. Not only how we identify, but also where we buy our clothes.

But I do want to talk about how important "clothes for crossdressers" are.

No matter where and when our journey will end, or where we are today, most of us started in a very similar way. We were drawn to characteristics (clothes, hobbies, careers, etc.) that were usually associated with girls. We probably knew there was something different, something special, something secret, about us. Perhaps we wanted to wear the same dress our sister was wearing, but we didn't know why. Perhaps we tried it on when no one was around. I know I did.

It's not unusual for us to think at one point in our lives that all of *this* was about clothes. I know that's what I thought. At some point in our lives we hear the word "crossdresser" annnnnd it kinda fits? When I heard that word for the first time and how it was defined as "a man who wears girl clothes" I felt... relieved? I was comforted in knowing that I wasn't the only boy who wore girl clothes. In fact, there were SO many like me that we had our own word. Very few words had as significant an impact on my life as this word did.

I continued to identify this way as other words, such as transgender and non-binary were not yet known to me and I didn't really have any other options, lol. As I got older I was able to buy my own panties and other items. Of course, not everything fit and hardly anything was designed for my body shape and my anatomy. I wanted panties that fit, panties that I didn't, well, fall out of. So, like many things in life, I searched for answers on the internet. I went to a search engine (I'm older than Google) and typed in "clothes for crossdressers" and "panties for crossdressers". I knew I wasn't the only crossdresser in the world, but I wasn't optimistic that the search results would be of any use.

But after a few minutes of the dial-up modem thinking, I was surprised and delighted to find results for "panties for crossdressers". Learning that there were so many like me that we had our own WORD was one thing, but learning that there were so many crossdressers in the world that businesses catering to us existed was just as astonishing.

We were more than a word, we were a community. We had designers that made clothes to fit our bodies. We may not know others like us, but knowing we were out there was a wonderful feeling. We had designers that supported us... so much that they were staking their entire business and reputation on providing us with items that we needed and wanted.

"Clothes for crossdressers" was the gateway to a bigger world. It wasn't long until I was emboldened enough to shop for, and wear clothes that came from the mall, in addition to designers that made clothes for those like myself who were assigned male at birth. I wear clothes that fit me. I need clothes that fit me. I need clothes that are designed for people who have the same body shape and measurements as I do. I don't care if they are "boy panties" or "girl panties". They are MY panties. MY dresses. MY clothes.

Love, Hannah