I post a LOT of photos of a LOT of different outfits. I don't have a style per se, I just wear what I want (depending on the event or situation). A black latex mini dress that I wore to a queer nightclub hangs next to a floor length gown that I wore to a gala a few years ago. Both are on the different ends of the fashion spectrum and both dresses are undeniably Hannah McKnight.

However, as much as both looks (and everything in between) are ME, it doesn't mean that they are interchangeable in every situation. I would never wear the ballgown to a coffee shop (except for the two times I did lol) but I will dress for whatever I am doing. It's not about blending in necessarily. I feel I am too tall to do that, if I am being honest. Even if I dressed exactly like other girls I am still going to draw attention. Not because "oh I am so pretty that all eyes will be on me" but because tall girls tend to stand out, even when they're wearing flats (and why would anyone do that??).

Knowing this, I may as well dress how I please. I am going to be tall anyway, so I may as well be REALLY tall and wear the heels. I am going to be noticed so I may as well wear the pink gingham dress while I am out running errands. There's a world of difference between being overdressed and dressing inappropriately.

Dressing inappropriately doesn't necessarily mean you are wearing a skirt that is tooooooo short for church or whatever, it's about wearing something that is out or place where you are. Again, floor length ball gown at Starbucks. My style tends to lean towards short, tight, and bold. I like bodycon dresses, leather, and I like to show off my legs. I like heels! I like it when other women glimpse my stilettos and express how impressed they are. Since I post a lot of photos, my fashion tastes are also seen by people who read my website or follow me on social media. I have "a look" and it's kind of fun.

I get that my look isn't for everyone which is fine. I mean, I am not trying to start a trend or a dress code or whatever. Sometimes it's obvious that someone isn't toooooo crazy about what I am wearing. I have some passive aggressive acquaintances who you can just tell that I am a little flashy for whatever we are doing, but I also think at this point they are used to it and have come to expect it.

When I post a photo or go out on adventures, I tend to hear one of two things about what I'm wearing.

"I could never wear that"
"I would never wear that"

Two very similar statements but also different enough that they aren't interchangeable. The more I thought about them the more inspired I became to talk about them. So, let's do that.

I am going to be noticed so I may as well wear the pink gingham dress while I am out running errands.

Let's start with why they are similar. Both statements could be discussing an outfit and how that look isn't something that they plan on wearing. Buuuut they are different because one statement is more or less about self-esteem and the other is about how that look just isn't for them.

If someone looked at my dress and said they would never wear that, it's probably an outfit that they simply don't like. Maybe it's ugly, or too short, or too bold, or made of a material that they don't like. I mean, fair, not everyone wants to wear latex. Sometimes this statement might be a little condescending, like it's a little too slutty for someone my age to wear. Well, maybe not slutty, but maybe it's a little... young for a girl my age. I guess I can see their point, not tooooo many girls my age are showing off their thighs.

It kind of stings a little, hearing this. Like I don't need anyone's approval when it comes to my outfit, but I do wonder if maaaaaybe they're right. Maybe the dress IS a little too short, maybe leather isn't the right vibe for the function. When this thought creeps into my head I feel very self aware and a little uncomfortable. Like, if they think that, maybe everyone else does? In a way it comes off as I made totally the wrong choice when I got dressed and they would have had more sense than I did when it comes to picking an outfit.

But here's the thing. If you look at what someone is wearing and think that you would never wear that, well, that's fine. You (probably) don't have to. There are millions of different outfits and looks to try. I see clothes that I would never wear. Like, EVER. But it doesn't matter because for every dress I don't like there are a dozen others to consider. No one person should be someone else's fashion guide.

But when someone says "I could never wear that", well, that's a totally different statement. Usually it's because I am wearing something, well, BOLD. Like a mini dress or a leather skirt or body hugging corset dress. Something sexy, something that accentuates my legs or a different part of my body. I think someone is saying that they wish they COULD wear the same outfit, but they don't FEEL they could.

They may feel this for a number of reasons.

One reason is that they don't feel they have the right body for it. I understand and can relate to that feeling. The world is obsessed with thin and youth. On a daily basis we see girls in their early twenties rocking the cutest outfit in the world but we are convinced we are decades too old for the same look. We also might feel we are ten (or fifty) pounds too heavy. We might feel that we are too masculine for it. Again, I get it. I have these thoughts all the time.

But I think anyone can wear whatever they want. If the dress fits, wear it. If you love it, wear it. If it makes you feel amazing, wear it.

Another reason is that the outfit might be too bold or too bright. Many of us desire to blend in, and it's much easier to do that in leggings and a t-shirt compared to a flirty skater dress. The flirty skater dress is going to draw more attention because it's simply not what most girls are wearing. If you are trying to blend in, seeing someone else intentionally standing out is a little shocking and a little unrelatable.

But just because someone is trying to blend in, it doesn't mean that they WANT to. Blending in is a survival tactic. The less we stand out, the less of a chance we will be harassed or worse. It's a pretty terrible way to live. Doing this, when you don't want to, really sucks. Dressing in a bold way, dressing to not blend in may indeed be what someone WANTS to do, but they aren't brave enough yet to do so.

In this case it's less about "I could never wear that dress because it's too short" and more about "I could never be as brave as that and I could never imagine living so fearlessly that I would feel comfortable wearing that". That's not to say I am Supergirl or whatever and I am the pinnacle of courage. I still get scared from time to time. I can relate to this feeling because at one point I desperately wanted to blend in and seeing other girls like me wear bright floral patterns and baby pink dresses when the world was graytone seemed very daunting.

But I think anyone can wear whatever they want. If the dress fits, wear it. If you love it, wear it. If it makes you feel amazing, wear it.

Obviously I have overcome that and over time I realized that I COULD indeed wear whatever I wanted.

Of course, there is a caveat to that. Sizing is a factor but it's something we need to overcome. When I look at a new corset or a pair of high heels I'll consider the size chart. Sometimes it's a little... hm, embarrassing (not quite the right word) to realize that for that specific outfit you are a size 16 when you WANT to be a size 4. I think many of us want to have the body shape and proportions of someone much younger, thinner, and curvier than we are. I get it, I promise.

But sizing for women's clothes are horrible and inconsistent and can make ANYONE (regardless of the gender they identify as or the gender they were assigned at birth) feel inadequate or worse. I have some dresses that are a size 10 that fit perfectly and some dresses that are a size 16 that will never EVER zip up all the way. 

That being said, wearing something that I want does require finding the right size. It may sting a little when I click "add to cart" knowing that I don't WANT to be *that* size but I have to remember that the size chart is arbitrary and means really nothing. The sizing really doesn't matter when you wear it though. If I am wearing a size 16 dress and I feel AMAZING in it, I don't think about how I wish I was a 12. I just have to remember that for THAT dress, from THAT designer, from THAT store, it's a 16. There's a likely chance that there are other outfits in a different size that will fit just as well.

Additionally sizing isn't ALWAYS and ONLY about waist and hip size. It can also be about height. I am super tall and just because I can zip up a dress it doesn't mean it's the right size. It may be too short. And yes, there are dresses that are too short for me. I'll sometimes go a size up so it hangs on me properly and modestly. 

So much of who we are and what we wear comes down to confidence and overcoming our innermost insecurities. We also overcome what some people in the world think about people like us. These are not easy voices to ignore. But if we push them away and embrace who we are, it becomes easier. This is how we live authentically. 

Love, Hannah