One of the trends that pop up on social media every once in a while are GRWM (Get Ready With Me) videos. Typically it's a girl who is picking out her outfit, from undies to shoes to accessories. Thanks to some clever editing, she will wave her top at the camera and then *PRESTO!* it magically appears on her body. Soon she is ready for her day, or to change her clothes and film another GRWM video. I suppose content creators always need to be, uh, creating content.
I love these videos, to be honest. The girls always look amazing, the clothes are cute, and as someone who struggles with putting together an outfit, they are wonderful inspirations. I mean, I usually look put together, but some of the outfits combine items that I didn't think would work, but these girls slaaaaay.
I think about these videos every time I get ready and sometimes I think about doing one but my video editing skills are, well, not good. I doubt I will ever do one, not only because of lack of technical skill, but also because it's not a very glamorous routine. There's a LOT that goes into my getting ready and I'd like to pull back the curtain of what my process is like. Some people say I make my presentation look so easy, but that's because I only share pictures of the end result. When I am looking in the mirror trying to get a zipper to cooperate or my corset to just... do it's thing, I think you would see the effort and the work that goes into all of this.
Be warned, this is going to get a little specific but maybe that's a good thing. I think when someone is preparing to start a project, whether it is a different gender presentation or building a house, it's helpful to see the step-by-step process. Changing one's gender presentation from masc to femme looks like magic (and it is) but that magic isn't happening with a flick of a wand. It happens with a razor, forms, padding, and more.
Before we get started, a little disclaimer. This is how I get ready. This is likely different from how you or someone else gets ready. The process I undergo is not what anyone HAS to go through when it comes to femme presentation. There are no requirements when it comes to presenting femme or as any other gender. Just because I shave my arms it doesn't mean someone has to have smooth arms to be femme. Additionally, I rarely paint my nails. If you do, wonderful, I bet they look amazing, but it doesn't mean I am less femme than you. None of this is a contest. I am not competing with anyone, whether she is cisgender or transgender and I hope no one considers femininity a competition.
There can be some slight variations on this process depending on what I am doing or what I am wearing, but for the most part this is what I do. For example, if I am doing a photoshoot, especially a lingerie shoot, I will make an appointment for certain parts of my body to get waxed.
So, are you ready to get ready with me?
I am not competing with anyone, whether she is cisgender or transgender and I hope no one considers femininity a competition.
Let's say I am going out on a Saturday night. My first step is to schedule a makeup appointment. I have my main girl that I see, but if she's not available I have two others I can schedule with. I can do my own makeup but I much prefer someone else doing it, especially if I am doing a photoshoot. This scheduling is done about two to three weeks in advance, if not further out.
As the days tick down to my outing, I will be thinking about my outfit. What I wear is almost entirely dependent on what I am doing and the weather. Sometimes the event and the temperature are in disagreement, so in these instances the event always wins out. For example, I recently had tickets to see a play with some friends. I love dressing up for the theatre but I planned on spending the day doing some Christmas shopping AND it was going to be very, very cold that day. I wanted to wear a cute skirt and stilettos for the play, but they are not the smartest things to wear when the sidewalks are an icy deathtrap and the temperature is trying to kill you. If it wasn't for the play I would have worn heeled boots instead of stilettos. Unless I have a specific outfit planned for the day, I will go through my closet to see what looks cute or do a little online shopping.
My process begins about two days before I go out. As Saturday approaches I'll keep a close eye on my eyebrows. I keep them on fleek (do people still say that??) but if they start to get a little out of control I will get them threaded. I thread instead of waxing and if you're not familiar with this look up some videos on Youtube.
The day before I go out I will do a full shave. I keep my body smooth and do this once a week anyway, but I will take extra time when I am getting ready to go out. I'll start with covering my arms, legs, and chest with Nair. I let the Nair do its thing for about five minutes before I step into the shower. Nair, as well as many other skin products, should be treated with respect. What I mean is that everyone's skin is different and people can have really bad reactions to certain products. Before using Nair and anything else, please please please read the instructions and please test a small sample of it on a small section of your skin before you cover your entire body with it. Also, the instructions usually state to not use the product on your genitals and they state this for good reasons.
With the water running, I'll use a loofah to remove the Nair from my skin. This is a huge time saver and it's very helpful when it comes to removing body hair from parts of me that are always easy to see or to reach, such as the back of my thighs. I have black hair so a missed spot can be more visible than I would like, but no one is looking *that* close anyway. Still, I like to be thorough and I like to be as smooth as possible.
On a side note, I have always hated body hair and I would still remove it regardless of my gender identity.
Once the Nair is gone, I shave. I use a "man's razor" and "man shaving cream" for this. Yes, shaving products that are designed for women are cuter (like pink razors) and smell nice (like strawberry scented shaving cream) but the boy stuff tends to work better on my body hair. I'll start with my chest, then my hands and arms. I don't use Nair on my underarms as that part of my body is a little sensitive to Nair, so I have to be extra thorough. I then move onto my bikini zone, then my legs. From Nair to shaving, this process takes about thirty minutes. I do this the day before I go out because this process is pretty time consuming and I don't want to rush it.
I will also spend about a half hour preparing my wig the day before I go out. I wash my hair about every two to three wearings so wig prep can take longer if I need to do this step. Brushing my wig tends to start off as a little frustrating as it gets pretty tangled but if I am patient and take it slow, my hair will start to look much better. Patience is key to alllll of this. Not just with your wig, but with shaving and everything else.
I'll go through my wardrobe and pull out the outfits I have in mind for the day. I'll try them on to make sure they (still) fit. If they do, fabulous. If not, back on the pile that I need to sort.
Patience is key to alllll of this.
The day of my girly adventure begins about three hours before my makeup appointment. Do I need this much time? Usually not, but again I don't want to rush it. I'll start with gathering my outfit, my heels, my accessories, my forms, and my shapewear. I'll move a few things (such as my bank card and driver license) from my wallet to my purse. Once everything is laid out, the next phase begins: More shaving. I'll stop shaving my face about three days before I go out. If I shave my face the day before I go out, I may not have enough hair growth to remove when I am getting girled up. On one hand this sounds ideal, but I want as smooth of a facial shave as possible. The shorter the time between shaving and girl time the better. Yes, I will have multiple layers of foundation and concealer on, but facial hair tends to have a bit of a blue tint under foundation and although one may not see the individual whiskers, the subtle coloring is there. Again, I have black hair so this is more of a problem for me compared to those who have lighter hair.
I'll shave my face twice (both in the direction the hair grows and the opposite direction) and I will closely inspect my skin before I can move on. This includes my jawline and my neck as well. Once this step is done, I get dressed.
There can be some variations on this step depending on what I am wearing, but this is the typical process. First thing is a thong gaff. I tuck as well as possible and if I am satisfied I move on to my corset. The style of my corset has changed over the years but I am mostly wearing an underbust style. This is probably the least glamorous part of getting ready. I'll put it on, fasten up the top, and then pull the laces to cinch it. It's not easy to do but over a decade of corsetry has prepared me for this. After this, a pocket bra with my breast forms, and sometimes thigh pads and hip pads.. Stockings/pantyhose/tights are the final step at this stage.
This is the part of my dressing when I feel a combination of frustration and optimism. The optimism comes from seeing the vision, if you will. My body has a different, curvier shape, but the frustration comes from feeling I have a long way to go before looking cute.
Finally the clothes themselves. This step can either go really well or can be a complete disaster. Sometimes I'll have The Perfect Dress picked out but it just might not look cute anymore, or I might not be feeling it, or it doesn't fit now that I have my shapewear and forms on. This is very frustrating which is why I have a few backup options. If I need to go to Plan B (or Plan C or Plan D....) then I'll be grateful I started getting ready when I did. Again, I don't want to rush any of this. No one likes feeling hurried and it stresses me out if I am running late.
Once I am finally dressed, then comes my earrings and other jewelry. I'll brush out my wig once more, and then heels. If the heels for the day are very strappy and have fasteners, I'll put my heels on before I cinch up my corset. Corsets don't allow a lot of flexibility and it's easier to bend in certain ways to fasten my heels without it. Finally, my wig goes on top and I'll fuss over it until I am happy with it. One last look before I go out will sometimes, but not often, make me change my mind about EVERYTHING and I'll go back to picking out a different option, Again, having the extra time is crucial.
Getting ready is a lot of work, but I really love each step. Each part brings me one step closer to looking as cute (or as sexy) as I can get.
This all sounds easy, but in my next article we'll go a little deeper and arguably a little darker. Stay tuned, lol.
Love, Hannah
