If there is anything that annoys me besides snagging my stockings the very first time I wear them, it's hypocritical people. People who say one thing but act in a way that is completely the opposite of that. It's lying, it's deceptive, and it's manipulative. This insincerity is not limited to people, companies do this as well. You may have a department store that is all about love and inclusivity but they donate money to organizations or political parties that are, well, unfriendly to the queer community.
I hate this. I hate this so much. I feel like I am more of a commodity than usual. Like, I know a business wants my money, I get that, but I hate it when they portray themselves as being inline with my values but it turns out it's just lip service. They want me to FEEL good when I shop there, like they support the same things that I do. It breaks my heart a little to learn that a store or an author or a musician that I liked, that I gave money to, uses that money to benefit organizations I would never support. I am indirectly supporting said organizations.
There are businesses that I will not shop with anymore, but there are also times when I feel like I don't have a choice. Sometimes you just need to grit your teeth and order that essential product from an online retailer that is owned by a horrible billionaire.
Business probably won't change, even if people boycott them. Personally I appreciate when a business does an about face and says "we screwed up when we did THIS and we are going to stop that and we are going to do THIS instead in an effort to win your trust again". Accountability is important. People make mistakes and people should own up to them. But letting them have a second chance is a different story.
This has been on my mind lately as two businesses that I used to buy lingerie from have turned out to have people in charge who are pretty horrible people. I can't imagine I will ever bring myself to give them my money again. So, that sucks. It also sucks because when I visited these stores I always had wonderful service and found cute panties. I felt that on a store level the clerks were lovely but the people above them? Not so much.
Accountability is important. People make mistakes and people should own up to them. But letting them have a second chance is a different story.
I encounter hypocrisy on social media. Like, a lot. I get private messages from dudes who aren't shy about letting me know what they'd like to do to me, what they want to do with me, and what they want me to do to them. Before I respond or block them, I will visit their profile to get a feel for who they are (or at least who they say they are). I look at their recent posts but if they aren't helpful I will lurk on their followers/following lists. If they follow a lot of girls like me, well, there's a really good chance they are chasers or at the very least fetishizing me.
Now, I need to be a little careful with what I am going to say next, but if the messenger has a lot of right-wing content on their page, then I feel they are hypocritical. Listen, I know that not everyone who votes Republican is anti-queer, but I can't really name one thing that they have done for people like me. The list of what our current president and his administration has done is too extensive to list here, but it ranges from withholding funding to hospitals that do gender affirming services to removing the Pride flag at Stonewall.
And yes, it's possible some people vote on certain issues that have nothing to do with social issues, but politicians don't really CARE why you voted for them, just as long as you DID. If you voted for a party for economic issues, fine, but if they are elected you'll also get them on the issues you disagree with. At this point I feel that political parties have shown us as voters what they stand for and what they want to eliminate.
To be clear, I am not pro-Democrat. I think the Democrats are the most ineffective and clueless and tone deaf party in the world, but at least they aren't trying to take away my rights as a citizen. I vote Democrat not because I think they are perfect, but to keep the other party out.
When a right wing dude messages me I wonder, well, I wonder a lot of things. They clearly want to sleep with me (and I know this because they tell me lol) and I would imagine that my gender identity is fueling at least some of that desire. They have no problem telling me in a private message what they think of me but they also have no problem voting for a party that would love to see people like me eradicated. Keep voting that way buddy and girls like me, girls that you clearly want, or going to vanish.
It's peak hypocrisy. I wouldn't be surprised if they hated gay people but love to watch lesbian adult videos.
If you voted for a party for economic issues, fine, but if they are elected you'll also get them on the issues you disagree with.
We're seeing this political hypocrisy a lot these days. For decades we've been told to protect the children and to do that we need to stop queer people from, well, being queer, but that same party is giving a pretty collective shrug when it comes to the Trump-Epstein files. Instead let's talk about the stock market.
I think dudes who message me like this see me in the same way a business does. I am a means to what they want and to hell with me if I don't like it. A business will tell me how much they celebrate Pride month but heaven forbid they carry Pride merchandise. A guy wants to sleep with me but has no problem with making my life a nightmare.
Life is too short to put up with this. People and businesses are set in their way and I don't have the energy to get them to change. I can stop shopping there and I can keep blocking people. I mean, I can get stuff somewhere else and I don't really have the energy to engage with a complete stranger on Twitter about how their actions impact others. Sure, if there was someone in my family that was indirectly hurting people like me, then I would try. For a while. I don't know how to convince others that they should stop hurting people. Of course, people love to justify what they do and how they vote but that doesn't really work for me. Again, you might vote because of other reasons besides social issues, but you still voted for them knowing full well their perspectives, policies, and history.
You can't make someone change. You can't change what a department store does with their profits. What you can do is not let the world change YOU. Have your beliefs, your values, your boundaries. People will try to cross them and they often will. That's on them. They are choosing to do these things. But don't let them change your boundaries. Don't let others change your values. Be firm to others and be gentle to yourself.
Love, Hannah
